Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm getting married
To pizza
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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