i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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