Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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