I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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