a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
