I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
