my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Couch. On fire.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
