Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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