how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
