i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
