don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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