her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
