btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
