Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
