Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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