Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I have aggressive nipples.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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