Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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