you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
