It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
