You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
