ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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