I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize