She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
