STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
