I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
