Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
