they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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