Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
