dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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