So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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