I just pynch a tree in the face
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize