Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
