one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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