3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He felt like a one man threesome
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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