She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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