Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
