Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
