I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
honey bunches of taint.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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