Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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