dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
