My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize