I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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