someone owes me an orgasm
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
