To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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