Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
