So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
