after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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