I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
