I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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