Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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