I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
