Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
