It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
