oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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