I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Acid is not a monday night drug
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
