I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
