i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
